Fellow Delegates, honourable Chair,
We have the distinct honour of speaking to you on behalf of our country, the great nation of Horrible Puns, today, in order to raise awareness addressing a dire situation that has struck our beautiful nation.
We are sure you all have heard about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda. He was lucky it was a soft drink.
But this is only the tip of the iceberg: Last night, we had a dream that we were swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But turns out, it was just a Fanta sea.
I turn to you today, wondering: What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? [PAUSE]
We, the nation of Horrible Puns, call on the Security Council to support our efforts in spreading the joy of horrible puns across the world. Together with our friends, the Republic of Dad Jokes, we demand an increase of bad jokes, unfunny memes, and horrible puns.
A fellow delegate recently tried to annoy us with bird puns, but soon we realized that toucan play at this game.
In closing, we would like to leave you with our favourite pun:
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? — One. They are very efficient and don’t make jokes.
In case of questions:
How do you lose 30 pounds in one minute? — Go to England and buy something.
What is the tallest building in any city? — A library. It has the most stories.
“Private, I didn’t see you at camouflage practice today.” — “Thank you, sir!”
A German bedtime story:
There once was a boy who didn’t want to eat his soup.
He starved to death.